No STDs, No WMDs

Just clicked on an article with the headline "JOHN MCCAIN: 'I HAVE BEEN TESTED.'"

'Cause come on, that's a little bit hilarious. What I found in the article wasn't.

Instead of a ridiculous story about Johnny going to the man-gyno, I found this video by Aaron Hodgins Davis. It is well-done, illuminating, moving, hideous, and absolutely worth watching.

ATTENTION EVERYONE:

Thank you. That will be all.

Another Palin Baby

Securing a name for your baby isn't always as foolproof as you'd think. When my grandmother was born, her father chose the name Ellen for her, after his twin sister. The priest wasn't listening too carefully, and christened her Helen for all eternity. Coco Chanel lucked out; her lovely surname was a mistake--someone forgot the Z in Chaznel and changed her family name forever.

But at least no fraud was involved there. Yesterday, in Tennessee, new father Mark Ciptak depended on drugs and trickery to name his daughter. A McCain supporter, the dad hoped to name a newborn son after the Republican candidate. When a little girl popped out, the mother was relieved and eager to name her Eva Grace, their agreed-upon moniker. But dang those birthing drugs! After momma fell asleep, Senor Sneak rolled into the nursery and completed the paperwork, naming his daughter . . .

Sarah McCain Palin Ciptak.

"Nailin' Paylin"

The first official Palin porn has arrived, sure to delight all those Joe Six-Packs out there! Now that's American. It's being produced by Hustler (ooh, legit!) and will feature fancy American flag pins, big guns, and, are those . . . "54Ds"?

Crazy Christian

Just read this insanity on W.'s imdb page: "Christian Bale was initially cast as George W. Bush, and even underwent weeks of prosthetics tests before filming began. However, he withdrew from the production at the last minute."

Who would have thought? In a million years, I'd never guess that Bush and Batman could be one and the same!

Levi Speaks!

Though he was advised by the 'Publicans to avoid the press, our rebel hottie redneck decided to go on ahead and tell some reporters what he thinks about life. Aw, he drives a red pickup! Aw, he's having a boy! Aw, he kinda hearts Barack! Aw, he has a BlackBerry like me!

Not aw: He hates animals. He's dropped out of school and now works in the oil fields of Alaska. Which is really sad. The Palins, who bring in about a mil a year, would have no trouble supporting a baby for the 6 months between it's birth and Levi's graduation. They couldn't help out for awhile he gets his high school diploma?

Maybe that's why he's not voting McCain/Palin in November . . . and not because he didn't register to vote in time!

If You Are From Albany, Do Not Be Scared!

Albany, the capital of New York but apparently a little bit ghetto, printed a number of absentee ballots listing the Democratic candidate as "Barack Osama."

Are they for real? Is the state copyeditorless? Is this more ballot-tampering? Cause that is so Bush Administration.