Bale vs. the Bailout

Here's a little Dark Knight/State of the Union action for you. Love it!

Image: Bruce Wayne worries about the plummeting DJIA and what it means for shareholders.

Separation of Church, State, and Witchcraft

This video, shot in 2005, shows our dear Sarah Palin undergoing a service that, um, protects her from witches! Awwwwesome. As an added bonus, the church where it's happening does not pay taxes.

Although, hell, maybe it worked. Remember, in 2005, Sarah held no government position whatsoever. She lost a run for lieutenant governor in 2002, the year in which she ended her stint as small-town mayor. She then chaired the Alaska Oil and Gas Commission for a couple years, then God knows what she did until becoming governor in December 2006.

Or maybe God doesn't wanna know, if it was hunting witches.

Sheepdog

Just found this cartoon online. Yikes.

No Foriegn Policy Experience, But She Does Speak . . . "Gibberish"

After last week's impassioned and genuine Late Show, in which, as we've all seen by now, David Letterman abandoned all pretenses and told us what he really thinks about the McCain camp, it seems that a lot of analysts and journalists have also decided to say, "You know what? This isn't funny anymore." (Conservatives, too, as I've mentioned below.) Even Tina Fey and Amy Poehler's brilliant portrayals of Sarah Palin and Katie Couric feel a bit more horrifying than humorous after this sobering thought occurs to the viewer: The girls didn't write this skit. Sarah Palin actually reasoned that, hey, you can see Russia from Alaska and "I'll look it up and get back to ya." It was just there for the taking.

A coworker, fortunate enough to be released from work at 3:00, just IMed me from home and said that he "just listened to Fareed Zakaria on CNN just really sum it all up about Palin." While the video link is not up yet, there is lots from Zakaria from this past weekend, including his Newsweek commentary "Palin is Ready? Please," and this Q&A on the piece.

Though a fan of McCain's, Zakaria bluntly admits that Palin "has simply never thought about these subjects before and is dangerously ignorant and unprepared," answered Katie Couric in "gibberish," and "has never spent a day thinking about any important national or international issue."

Our country just ran out of money. And okay, while I exaggerate a bit (case in point) it is absurd, especially now, that Zakaria isn't.

UPDATE: Here's the clip, Zakaria with Wolf Blitzer. I like how he essentially says any financial success Palin's given Alaska is from spreading out money earned by digging holes.

This Is What We're Risking

This picture, taken in Alaska, is so beautiful. It almost makes me wish Sarah would get a low-tier job in Washington where she will be endlessly overridden and can do no harm. Then maybe they could be safe.

Conservatives Turn Intelligent

Though I'm always wary of being too optimistic, especially in times when people are talking of a second Great Depression and without irony, I think McCain may have truly set himself back a bit this week. His "suspension" of his campaign seems to not have accomplished what he hoped; he will be appearing tonight at the first presidential debate; and Sarah Palin is losing a bit of her charm now that the novelty is wearing off and people are actually listening to her in interviews.

This has become evident by an increase in op-eds written by conservatives this week. It's exactly what we need to be seeing: People going beyond party lines, unafraid of being called "flip-floppers," realizing that we are in a dire situation and it's critical to make the right choice in November, no matter how uncharacteristic it may feel. This is not your average election, and we as a people need to look beyond black and white, red and blue.

Here are two enlightening pieces, one by former proclaimed Palin supporter and conservative columnist Kathleen Parker, who, after seeing Palin's recent TV appearances, has enlisted her intelligence and openmindedness to allow her to retract her support.

The other is from Wick Allison, lifelong conservative and editor in chief of D Magazine. Yes, the D is for Dallas, and yes, that is in Texas. But he begins by saying "Barack Obama strikes a chord with me like no political figure since Ronald Reagan. To explain why, I need to explain why I am a conservative and what it means to me."

Somehow, in the delusional political climate of the last decade, Americans were taught that voting for or agreeing with one thing and later changing your mind is a bad thing.

It is never wrong to critically reconsider something and decide what you think is right. Circumstances change; and the ability to recognize that and take action for what you believe in is far more important than stubborn, detrimental commitment.

McCain Can't Multi-Task

This video is perhaps the most necessary viewing material to come out of the past few weeks. Yesterday, as part of McCain's movement to "suspend his campaign," he canceled an appearance on The Late Show With David Letterman only hours before it was set to tape.

Letterman, a longtime TV personality and essentially, broadcast journalist, abandoned the entertainer/non-biased interview side of things and told audiences what he really thought: That he was "more than a little disappointed by this behavior," that it was scary that McCain did not trust Sarah Palin to handle the campaign in his absence, and that it was frightening to think that McCain could not handle two things at once, giving the impression that he could just quit on obligations while serving as president.

McCain called Letterman personally, saying that he was racing to the airport and "going to go save the country." The senator, unaware that most TV studios have satellite TVs where employees can watch other network programs being filmed, was seen only a few minutes later getting his makeup done on the set of the Evening News with Katie Couric, and not "racing" to D.C. at all.

Guest Keith Olbermann summed it up bluntly: "I think he dissed you." I think he disrespected all of us.

Cybersexy!

Email some Palin semi-hotties:

Track: track_44@hotmail.com
Bristol: bristol_palin@hotmail.com

Tell her to send us Levi's! Full story about the Palin email leak, complete with screenshots, here.

Odds of John McCain (Rest In) Peacing Out

Though I loved the Matt Damon interview where he brings up some hilarious and frighteningly relevant points, there was a slight flaw in his speech: Unlike the character that made him famous, the real-life Will Hunting messed up the math a bit when he said there was a one in three chance of McCain dying while in office.

In reality, the odds are closer to one in six. This piece, published on Portfolio.com this week, used the same math insurance companies apply to determine premiums. Which means it is pretty dependable, accurate, and widely accepted. Here are a few horrifying comparisons:

"To put the question into a more helpful context, let's look at everyday events that have about the same odds as soon swearing in President Palin:

-On your next try, pulling a red M&M out of the bag.
-That your birthday falls on a Wednesday.
-That, during a full inning of a Major League Baseball game, one of the teams hits a home run.
-That the next car you see will be black."

The entire piece is definitely worth reading. Some of the things less likely than a President Palin are shocking.

For All You HP Fans Out There . . .

My coworker Jen just came up with this gem:

"Does anybody read Harry Potter? Sarah Palin kind of reminds me of Umbridge."

If only schoolchildren could vote!

30-Minute McCain

This started out as a different post. It was to be entitled "Second-Worst Hour of TV Ever." My thinking was that John McCain's appearance on Rachael Ray's talk show tomorrow was second only to Retch having Sarah Palin on. I somewhat loathe Rachael Ray, and can imagine few tortures worse than being in that audience on that imaginary day.

But the more I imagined the scheduled show, the more I softened toward McCain. He looked so tiny beside Obama at the World Trade Center site this morning. No one can take away the fact that the video of him as a thirtysomething P.O.W. is touching.

I do not want this man to be president of my country. But at times he can seem to be, on his own, redeeming. I feel this way when I look directly as President Bush; the emptiness, the lack of anything sharp behind his eyes lend a sort of innocence when you take him out of context.

Is it possible that in the past few weeks, McCain has stumbled upon a benefit to himself by positioning himself alongside these two shrew-like women, who, like Joe Biden recently said, can be viewed as "a step backward for women?" Watching a fading, old soldier sit through an hour with Retch is undoubtedly more tolerable than having to watch, and worse, listen to, her and Palin try to out-attention-grab one another. (As a side note, both women's Wikipedia pages have had the editing function disabled for the month due to vandalism, generally a sign of much contempt toward their subjects. Neither Barack Obama's nor John McCain's are currently locked.)

I still will not watch the show due to my aversion to the host. But with Retch's large audience of middle-America women, will it be worrisome if McCain comes off as sweet? Or will he simply seem like a red-state grandfather no longer as powerful as he once was?

"Live From New York . . ."

Election season always seems to bring out the best, or the worst, in SNL . . . sometimes that shit is hilarious, sometimes you turn on the TV 10 minutes late to avoid that really boring skit of some dude behind a desk.

But producer Lorne Michaels is no dummy (he must be voting blue!)—it looks like he indeed intends to cash in on the frequent comparisons of Sarah Palin to Tina Fey. Though truly, Sarah is not as pretty as Tina, and I would say that even if she did believe in pterodactyls.

When asked outright if Tina would return to the show to play Alaska's governor, Lorne responded with, "There are discussions. They are ongoing." Perez Hilton suggests Amy Poehler play Bristol.

To which I say, bring back Jimmy Fallon! Levi, Levi, Levi!

Sarah Hearts (Certain Hot, Famous) Democrats?

Did Sarah smack that with a Democrat after all?

Naturally, it didn't take long for someone to add a little something to Matt Damon's interview in which he says that he reaaaaally needs to know whether Sarah thought the dinosaurs were here 4,000 years ago and characterizes her a "really bad Disney movie."

God I love those democratic Masshole Good Willing Hunting actors and cannot wait until Ben Affleck is a senator representing my beloved home state.

Here's the original interview, introduced to me by my friend Evie, in which Matt brings up some integral points that I wish people in red and swing states would finally begin to consider, especially on a day like today, when we are reminded of what can happen if we don't have a strong leader.

And here's the fucking follow-up.

Watch Out, Suburban Repubs

This truck had a McCain/Palin bumper sticker on it. I swear.

Denim Shirt+Rifle+Aquanet=White House?

People may think I'm wrong about the American flag bikini, but Newsweek says this is truly not photoshopped.

Perhaps the most disturbing thing is that there's no need for it to be . . . Sarah seems to think a hobby like this makes her somehow more qualified to lead a country at war.

Article here.

Dress Like Me

So, as a result of Americans desperately holding on to their honeymoon period with Sarah Palin, the polls aren't looking good. This is sad. I'll make a totally ageist statement here and say "We need more young people! They seem to be smarter! They will vote the way I want them to!"

MoveOn.org agrees. Actually, they thought of this awhile ago and have been raising money for a youth-registration program. Basically, you don't need to give much and you actually get something, and from American Apparel, who takes much of my money anyway. Their message below.

Last week, more than 90,000 MoveOn members chipped in more than a million dollars to launch our youth-registration program—and each got a cool Obama shirt in the process.

The program is off to a great start. We've already opened offices in a dozen states, and canvassers are hitting the pavement and signing up tons of young Obama voters every day.

But right now, we don't have enough money to keep these canvassers going full-speed for the next 3-4 weeks until the voter-registration deadlines hit.

We've been giving out Obama T-shirts along with each donation of at least $12. But we need more resources—fast—to keep this program going. So we're offering you a special deal: If you contribute just $8 TODAY, we'll send you an Obama shirt free.

Click here to chip in and get your shirt:

http://www.moveon.org/r?r=25624&id=13759-10459839-0u05MWx&t=4

The race is tightening amongst registered voters—new polls even show it tilting towards the McCain/Palin ticket for the first time.

The key to Obama winning this fall is expanding that list of registered voters. That's the work these canvassers are doing: registering new voters to tip the balance in the states where it matters most.

And they'll be out there wearing the same T-shirts you'll be receiving. These American Apparel shirts are high-quality, American-made, and union-printed—and they're a great way to make a difference.

Also, I promise I am not encouraging others to spend their money as a way to gain good karma without spending my own. I bought one too!

Polar Bears Turn Green

Sarah Palin has got to be behind this. Maybe that's why it's in Japanese, in disguise!

I'm just saying.

John Hates Chelsea/Arianna Hearts Alec

And I heart her for letting crazy yet surprisingly lucid celebrities blog! In this post from Saturday, offered up by my friend Evie and titled "John McCain Is Not George Bush, Sarah Palin Is," actor Alec Baldwin reveals why he is fearful of the Republican ticket. This passage is particularly frightening, because people seem to be overlooking the fact that it is very possible:

"John McCain is, statistically, more likely to die or suffer some catastrophic illness during his first term than any other man that has sought the office. Who would succeed him? George Bush would succeed him. Someone with no record. No experience. Only question marks."

Also love that he concludes with a random postscript apologizing for some shit-talking about Scrubs and My Name is Earl. Who knows?

I'd also urge people to remember this: "Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly? Because her father is Janet Reno." John McCain may also be the only presidential candidate who's ever been classless enough to publicly call an opponent's daughter "ugly." Not only is attacking a teen girl about her looks the easiest and meanest insult, McCain wasn't even professional enough to use a euphemism. Steven Leser reminds us here.

Sex On Skates

NY Mag's slideshow of pics of our boyf.

Enjoy!

Rock It Out, Van Palin

Those rumors that Sarah Palin thought about naming her baby Van Palin, on purpose?

Not lies. Baby Trig's full name is Trig Paxson Van Palin, as reported here in this totally non-ironic news story from Alaska's NBC news affiliate.

Trig has the same birthday as Suri Cruise, another mysterious little kid thing with a weird name association (it's been speculated that Suri is named for Surrey, England, which supposedly has strong Scientology ties).

"Rush Limbaugh In A Skirt"

I didn't know who Lisa Bloom was until I came across this video this afternoon. Apparently she is a lawyer and host of her own show on TruTV. And while she sounds to be a bit of a bulldog when it comes to lawsuits (she made a name for herself suing the Boy Scouts and the Catholic Church), we all know that's better than being a pitbull.

What I liked about Lisa in the CNN segment is that she put things into perspective, reminding viewers of the facts that are getting lost in the morning-after post-Palin-speech haze. Example:

"We're not talking about the issues, like the fact that she doesn't believe in global warming or sex ed, we're talking about her hair, her clothes her makeup, and the fact that some men find her sexy."

Lisa also reasonably compares Palin with another lady a certain politico found sexy, remembering, "It reminds me of Monica Lewinsky's lipstick and how after her Barbara Walters interview everybody wanted to know what shade that was."

Palin herself might do well to take note of these things: After all, her state more than any other is feeling the effects of this "non-manmade" global warming situation, is it not?

Help!

John McCain is officially ahead of Barack Obama in the polls, with the percentages at 50% to 46%.

Which means that even with the margin of error, he is still ahead.

T-Minus 59

There's 60 days left on our warranty. For the next 60 days, as bad as it is, we know what we're getting in Washington. Mispronunciation, the danger of pretzels now that it's football season, and a good ol' boy that's good ol' clueless.

We have 60 days 'til we find out what happens next.

It appears I'm vaguely obsessed with this; or rather, with the absurdity of what comes out under a deadline like this. So after incessantly interrupting my coworkers to tell them Bristol's baby daddy is a hottie and more people watched Obama than watched some eps of American Idol, I thought I'd just put it all here, where there's a more democratic color scheme.

Read, admire Levi, and think about voting for everyone's favorite long-legged mac daddy.